Comedian Rod Quantock launches his new show, Bugger the Polar Bears, This is Serious, in Melbourne on July 21. He spoke to Green Left Weekly's Jay Fletcher about climate change, government inaction and the urgent need to create a global movement to save the planet.
* * *
What's the message of your show, Bugger the polar bears, this is serious?
Well, there's no time to worry about the politicians. It's really direct action, I can't see that there's anything else to do now. And you have to inform as many people as you can in the shortest space of time possible.
Between now and the time of Copenhagen [UN-sponsored global climate talks in December], we've got to create a global revolution, led by me, okay.
I'll be in charge, it was my idea. I want to be king. But that's what you have to do; you've got to get to as many people as you can in as many ways as you can.
If it's having a centre-spread for Dolly magazine, with the global warming message, then you have to have a centre-spread for Dolly magazine, and if Dolly would like to ring me, I would be very happy to pose for it.
You've got to build bridges now; there are no barriers now, there are only bridges. Everybody counts, and you have to convince people that they're going to die if they don't do something — by December 22, I reckon.
You've said, "if you're not scared shitless then you just don't understand the science". How do you make that funny?
That is funny. You have to see the show. I shouldn't say it's difficult, but it's taken me a long time to work out how to do it. But now it's funny and informative and truthful. So people have a good laugh, but they go away knowing they're going to die. That's how it works.
If [Family First Senator] Steve Fielding remains a climate sceptic, and if he's stupid enough to think that he can go to a sceptics meeting in New York, funded by major oil companies, and get the truth then he's a fool and he's one of the ones that should be eaten first.
I'm just getting my list of people that should be eaten first and Fielding is getting very close to the top of it.
So, you just have to tell people that there isn't any time to mess around anymore. And everybody has an obligation now to do something about it. Whatever it is, wherever you do it, you've got to do something about it.
It's the greatest challenge humanity's ever had to face. And history tells us we're not very good at cooperating, but that's what we've got to work towards. The sadness is there's so little time. And it's just as urgent as urgent can be.
Speaking of urgency, your magazine, The Wonderful World of Climate Change, described total climate disaster but also total government inaction. Do you think comedy is just going to get blacker the longer action on climate change gets delayed?
It's a difficult thing. See, I grew up when there was a threat of nuclear war. It's not very different to the feeling that you get from climate change. Except, with nuclear war you knew that there had to be someone to press a button to make it happen, and now we've got to press a button to make it stop.
And it's a really difficult thing to get across to people that they can't escape it. It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter whether you're the head of an oil company or the head of a coal company or someone who sells hotdogs, you can't get away from it. You can't buy your way out of it. There's no way of avoiding it. It doesn't matter how much money you've got, you're life is going to be shit.
I knew people when there was a threat of nuclear war who built a fall-out shelter, because they thought that they would be able to survive. But there are no fall-out shelters for climate change. There's nowhere you can go.
Well that's the madness of it all. There are so many opportunities. But in Victoria, we're committing to more freeways. And we're going to build another coal-fired power plant. But we've just invented a system of turning coal into better coal and oil. You know that only uses 40% as much energy. Wonderful thing. This is good coal!
So, you know the money that could've been invested and all the jobs that could've been created in converting the nation into a new way of doing things. We have the resources to do it. And we have to before the climate destroys our economy. Then everything will go to rebuilding the damage of climate change, and then there'll be nothing left.
So that's the cheery message of Bugger the Polar Bears.
Former US vice president Al Gore is currently in Australia. He said he "chooses to be optimistic" about reaching a climate deal at Copenhagen in December. What are your expectations, if any?
Look, it's difficult because if you're really truthful about it, it's almost impossible to be optimistic. Yet if you're not optimistic, you can't get anywhere. You may as well just go and invest your money in whisky and go and sit in an endless sunset of bliss and happiness.
The hippies were right! That's the terrible message of climate change, the hippies were right. You have to be optimistic and you have to know that the answers are there and all that's lacking is a commitment.
Australia can't change the world, but Australia could lead the world. But that's true of any country – to actually be able to hold up a model to the rest of the world and to say to people "look it can be done".
You need to proceed on the basis that it's achievable.
You've got to talk to people honestly about what it means to them, and it's not a political message and economic message. It's the message that we're all in this together, and it's a brutal reality for your children and your children's children.
The damage that can be done within 20 years is just unimaginable and the price of that within 100 years, you just don't even like to think about.
If we're not all in it, we're all out. It's challenging: so what do you do? You do comedy shows about it.
[Bugger the Polar Bears, This is Serious runs from July 21 to August 15, in the New Ballroom, Trades Hall, corner of Lygon and Victoria streets, Carlton, Victoria. For bookings, visit www.bellaunion.com.au or phone (03) 9775 3797.]