By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
O.J. Simpson retrial
The 1996 Olympic Games are postponed as the O.J. Simpson trial nears its end. Already the most watched soap opera in the world, its ratings climb to record heights as the final days approach and the jury return to give their verdict.
However, before the foreman can announce their decision, a team of crack response lawyers break into the courtroom demanding a retrial.
The lawyers, it is later revealed, work for a consortium of TV stations, who are not prepared to see their number one rating program end.
A new trial is granted on the basis that vital evidence on O.J.'s brand of shampoo had not been taken into account.
Plans for the movie, stage play, Broadway musical and the mini-series are put on hold, while the teams of lawyers begin reassembling all the material they had presented over the past two years.
Simpson, already the recipient of two Oscars for his role in the trial, declares he is retiring and auditions will be held for an actor to take his place in the court re-runs.
Family TV channel launched
The long awaited family TV channel is finally launched upon the youth of Australia. For the opening program B1, B2 and Humphrey Bear mime the world news and Mr Squiggle provides abstract accompanying graphics.
However, after initial high ratings, the channel begins losing support. Viewers say they are prepared to watch Mary Poppins only so many times a week, and the Brady Bunch Variety Hour lacks credibility.
In an effort to win back viewers, the channel resorts to gimmicks such as reintroducing the gender-questionable Fat Cat — but nothing works until they hit upon the idea of National Geographic documentaries.
Sperm of the Chimpanzee is a big hit, followed by Attack by Sharks on Populated Surfing Beaches and Bizarre Sexual Antics of Political Leaders.
By the end of the year, the family channel is available only on X-rated cable channels.
Mulholland to Olympic team
Steve Mulholland, former head of Fairfax, is chosen to represent Australia in the 1996 Olympics.
He is selected for both the wrestling team and the featherweight boxing team. However, Mulholland resents being depicted as a featherweight and seriously assaults the Olympic selection committee.
Several North American boxers withdraw from their events, saying there are some things even anabolic steroids can't compete with.