Spit the dummy, why don't ya
Like many of my comrades among the Greenly Left masses, I am prone to a wee bit of cynicism every now and then.
There's nothing wrong with that. While ideals and the passion they engender may claim a fair share of our dreams and waking moments, within the bounds of normally acceptable behaviour among consenting adults in the privacy of their own chitchat, cynicism in small doses surely does little harm and can, on occasion, be therapeutic.
That said, I want to confess that I am prone to chronic attacks of cynicism. If I look after myself and pace my endeavours, I find that I can go for very long periods without suffering a relapse, which is sure to cause harm to the people closest to me and the activities I love.
Presently, I am recovering from a particularly bad spell. On election night, I suddenly came down with an attack.
When Cheryl Kernot spat the dummy about the seat she had been allocated by the ALP, an immediate onset of the big "c" overwhelmed me.
Still suffering, my condition worsened the next day when Gareth Evans interrupted his golf game to tell us all that he was leaving parliament — and all those who had voted for him could go stuff themselves.
Still indisposed, the sheer scale of the golden handshakes given to those who lost their Senate seats in the poll worsened my condition. And then — after all I had been through — One Nation put out its hand for the close to $3 million it "earned" from the votes it received.
You can imagine how I was feeling! I can't recall ever being so cynical as I have been since October 3. I don't mind telling you, I was beginning to worry that maybe mine was a terminal case.
However, as they say, a trouble shared is a weight off your mind. I have since learned that I am not alone in my condition, that thousands, perhaps millions, suffer as I am suffering now.
Cynicism is no longer a condition we must experience in private, or one that affects only a few. Cynicism has now reached plague proportions. Within the four corners of Australia, everyday chitchat is sure to be marked by some symptoms of home-grown cynicism whenever the conversation drifts to the topic of politics.
I think it's a good thing. It's good to get it all out. We need to confront this new sickness that is warping our commitment to the commonwealth and its parliamentary institutions. We need to face up to our responsibilities to each other, help each other out, talk about our collective drift toward cynicism.
Most of all, cynicism needs to be recognised as a political entity in its own right. Howard and company may have their ideological commitments to this and that, but we Greenly Left masses are perhaps not so doctrinaire about what we believe in.
I'm not asking you to sign on as a Marxist or a communist; you need to be comfortable with the choices you sometimes must make.
I'm telling you to stand up for what you believe in, respect yourself and be proud of what you are. I'm saying: Cynics! Stand up and be counted! There's a whole world out there that we have just begun to feel cynical about.
By Dave Riley