Nostradamus' Media Watch

Issue 

Based on highly reliable international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.

Helen Darville-Demidenko identity crisis

There are futher shock horror scandal revelations when it is claimed that Helen Demidenko is not Helen Darville.

Australia's newspapers give front-page headlines to the story, attributed to a non-Ukrainian genealogist and part-time clairvoyant who appears on the Mid Day show.

According to the clairvoyant/genealogist, Helen D is really Salman Rushdie.

PNG bureaucracy criticises Australian aid program

Senior PNG bureaucrats criticise Australia's changed aid program to their country. Under the new funding arrangements, grants (known as "Gareths") are made available to fund particular programs, rather than simply being contributed to government revenue.

According to the senior bureaucrats, who are interviewed by Radio Australia at 3am, the changed arrangements will lead to a serious running down of government services. They will no longer be able to purchase air-conditioned vehicles, study trips to Australia and Europe will be slashed, and senior officer bonus payments will be abolished.

They point out that it is the poorest sectors of the population that will suffer from these changes.

Belarus bags more balloons

Not long after shooting down a US hydrogen-filled balloon taking part in an international air race, the Belarus airforce shoots down a German weather balloon and an advertising dirigible.

A spokesperson from an international public relations firm, recently hired by the government, explains that the fault lies with the airforce's radar system, which identified the balloons as nuclear-capable spy planes. The radar system had been purchase from the Soviet airforce and had last been used in the vicinity of Sakhalin.