I often wish this government would cut the crap and just admit it governs for the rich and is determined to shift as much wealth as possible into their hands. We'd be saved their mind-boggling attempts at “logic”.
Like their argument that we have a budget emergency, so we must absolutely take action now or our children and our children's children and our children's children's children will all die horrific deaths from starvation, so that is why we must abolish the mining tax.
Because the last thing you want to do in such an extreme budget emergency is generate revenue from the richest, most successful sector of the economy.
What is more, they coupled that move with an attack on workers' superannuation. Industry Super Australia chief executive David Whiteley said of the changes: “A 25-year-old on average earnings over their working life could retire with $100,000 less.”
Because they keep saying we must take action now to “protect our future income” and so that's why they have no choice but to lower our future income.
But they really are testing our patience with claims, pushed by Assistant Infrastructure Minister Jamie Briggs, that we must abolish penalty rates to create more jobs. Because that is why there are no jobless people in the US. The ridiculously low-to-non-existent benefits and protections for working people have just got that economy absolutely booming.
I mean, you know, sure in response to rising global unemployment, the G20 points out there is a need to raise wages, because this stimulates consumption and drives economic growth, but whatever. But why follow such advice when we can follow the US and enjoy a society in which a mere 80% of the population lives in or near poverty?
The government seems determined to follow the US path, from pushing user-pays health care to deregulating university fees. And why wouldn't you want to reap the benefits of their glorious civilisation, such as the total destruction of an entire city like Detroit?
The US is a sane society indeed. Take its response to a spate of school shootings: arm teachers. Because if there is one thing guaranteed to keep school students safe from gun-related violence it is flooding schools with more guns.
And so, less than one week after Idaho's legislature voted to allow teachers to bring firearms into classrooms, an Idaho professor accidentally shot himself in the foot in front of his students.
As an American friend pointed out on Facebook, if only his foot had also been armed in self-defence, this may never have happened.
This is a society with so little “red tape” holding back businesses, you can legally let children fire automatic machine guns at gun ranges — even after a "nine-year-old girl lost control of an Uzi and accidentally killed an instructor in Arizona.
Not only was this gun range not shut down, or at least some action taken to stop them putting automatic machine guns in the hands of kids, but owner Sam Scarmado defended the policy to the press, telling MSNBC's Chris Hayes that hundreds of children have handled weapons at the range without incident.
What that's fine then! If only one kid loses control of an Uzi and sprays bullets wildly out of a few hundred, then the odds of no one being killed on any given day are probably reasonably high. And anyway, Scarmado said: “We're having a policy review on what went wrong up there.”
Oh good. So long as it is not just business as usual, then. The odds, however, of this review ending the policy of giving kids as young as eight dangerous weapons don't seem high, as Scarmado said of the fatal incident: “This was a very mature young lady, and something she wanted to do and her parents were treating her.
“This was something that was high on her bucket list to do.”
That is wise parenting for you. Let your nine-year-old do whatever the fuck they want. I mean, it was on her “bucket list” of things to do before she dies and our inevitable, impending deaths are definitely a concept all nine-year-old kids have a firm grasp on.
Sure, a mere seven-year-old might just live life in the moment and not give a second thought to the finite nature of our existence, which is why Scarmado has such a firm policy to keep Uzis out of their hands.
But a nine-year-old has fully contemplated the matter, felt Death's icy hand on their shoulder and developed an utter determination to achieve all their goals before it is too late and they're on their death bed filled with regret that they never got to accidentally kill a gun range instructor before turning 10.
This is a definitely a model society to follow. One where our kids get to fulfill all their dreams — no matter how many people die.