An Anti-Christmas Poem

Issue 

An Anti-Christmas Poem

Unwillingly dress up as Santa,

Put up with their tedious banter

Feed your unwanted relations,

With their loud offspring have patience.

Don't trip over kiddies' toys,

Somehow stand the eternal noise,

Funny hats, exploding crackers,

And too much of the god Bacchus.


Show yourself happy and perky

As you endlessly carve turkey,

While around the carols thunder,

And the kiddies seize their plunder.

Deck the Christmas tree, which wobbles

With its ugly useless baubles.

In your heart admit Noel

Is a ghastly boring hell.


It may cause a serious rift

If you pass on last year's gift

From Aunt Anne to Cousin Molly —

Christmas mayn't be quite so jolly.

It will be a trifle shocking

If in his small hung-up stocking

Your child finds Madonna's book,

Bought because you want a look.


Welcome the unwanted present

With a smile that's false, yet pleasant.

Send expensive Christmas cards

With frightful verse by clumsy bards.

Remember you'll offend the rest if

You don't join the occasion festive.

Who can blame your furtive tear

As you long for the New Year?


Rosemary Evans