This week I thought I'd kick off with a very funny joke from a very funny man, that hysterically witty US Senator Ernie Hole-in-the-head. He told a crowd of cheering workers that they could respond to Japanese claims that US workers are lazy by making a logo with a mushroom cloud saying, "Made in America by lazy and illiterate workers and tested in Japan".
Imagine the therapeutic benefits of this great international comedy on the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. When they settle down, they can write Senator Hole-in-the-head's nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Not that he's got much chance, because if it's all fair dinkum, we have no doubts it will go to our favourite, and one of the most popular men in True Blue Aussie with the Big Red Heart, the minister for going overseas all the time and being a perfectly good little prefect, Good Evans.
Good Evans was quite properly most upset at opposition accusations that he had grovelled to Malaysia over that turtle film which Malaysia feels very ordinary about. "I did not grovel", he said. "I simply told them we agreed with what they said and we would do all we could to ban this dreadful film which fails to acknowledge cultural differences."
For once, the Senate was able to reach bilateral agreement that many Australians, but certainly not them, failed to recognise the cultural differences between True Blue Aussie and some of our friendly neighbours. "Look, it's a cultural thing", they said, "to shoot demonstrators in the street, torture the opposition, ban worker organisations, that sort of thing. We must learn to respect those differences."
On the Dili so-called massacre, Good Evans explained, "See how some sensible diplomacy and sensitivity can help. Actually, we could learn a little from some of these cultures. For instance, what a delightful practice to save costs by shooting large numbers of people when they are already in a cemetery."
Meanwhile, women celebrating International Women's Day really had something to celebrate, although they were also sent on a political treasure hunt. The government's minister for assisting the prime minister for the status of women (really), Wendy Fightin-for-socialism, told parliament: "The working women of this country know that there is one party and one party only that is concerned about their welfare, their pay, their opportunities for study, their opportunities to work — to have child-care so they can be in the workforce".
What great news for women! But the political treasure hunt: Wendy Fightin-for-socialism forgot to say which party she was talking about, so women spent IWD looking for it. They know which ones it isn't.