NOSTRADAMUS' MEDIA WATCH

Issue 

By Craig Cormick

Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.

Indonesia's Nuclear Plans Criticised

The Indonesian Government comes under heavy criticism from international nuclear regulatory bodies, which describe the plans for the first dozen new reactors to be built in Indonesia as "sketchy".

It is later revealed that in fact all the Indonesian government had tendered were hand sketches of reactors done in red crayon.

The International Atomic Energy Agency protests the designs, saying that they are way below acceptable international standards.

The Indonesian Government protests this protest, claiming that the designs were supplied by a contractor who had built reactors right across South-East Asia.

A compromise is reached when the designs are redrawn in blue crayon.

Young Liberals become young liberals

The Young Liberals continue to speak out on contentious issues, shocking Liberal Party conservatives.

After supporting the rights of homosexuals, they back Catholic women clergy at a conference in Dimboola, followed by supporting anti-logging campaigns at a conference in Thredbo and marine conservation the following weekend at a conference in Cairns.

As several senior members of the Liberal Party are taken to hospital suffering high blood pressure and coronary problems, the Young Liberals come out in support of free medical services at a weekend jaunt on the North Shore of Sydney.

The mainstream Liberal Party is unable to make a decision about their statements along party lines, when the Young Liberals support conscience voting in parliamentary parties.

However, the Young Liberals then go so far as to back proportional representation in regional areas, at a conference in Dubbo, which brings about their complete isolation from the Coalition, the suspension of their pocket money and cancellation of financial support for their upcoming gadabout conference at Uluru National Park.

Japanese sink Russian submarine

An international nuclear scare erupts when a Japanese vessel sinks a Russian nuclear submarine in Micronesia.

While it is unknown exactly how much radiation is leaking from the submarine, and the governments concerned are cautious not to reveal the exact location of the sinking, the Russian government states that the sinking was a "singularly aggressive act", with absolutely no provocation on the part of the Russian submarine.

The Japanese government refuses to apologise for the incident, stating that the navy thought the submarine was a whale and had attacked it with armour-piercing missiles for research purposes only.

As radiation levels build up on several islands, Japan heads off an international incident by buying the islands and claiming the incident took place in Japanese territory.

All the islanders are deported as non-citizens.