Is there a God?
Some thinkers — all locals, all of them conservative, some unruly — have confessed to discerning a striking resemblance between John Howard and the pope.
True, resemblances, there are. Both have other names. The one can be addressed as "Prime Minister", the other as "Your Eminence". The latter name, meaning also "Big on Bull", was also to attract the snappy tag of "Mr Infallible".
Both are world figures, both eat breakfast, both wear glasses. But they differ on one big, critical issue. The pope has never denied the existence of the Almighty; indeed he daily confirms it through the role he performs as primate of His church on earth. John Howard has said there is no God, proving this by uttering various blasphemies and obscenities and not being instantly struck dead.
Perhaps you missed them? These blasphemies. More or less — significantly more than less, I'd say — John Howard acts as if God is stupid and unnecessary. If there is one, it's dangerous.
Perhaps he was thinking of the story of the notorious agnostic who called on his religious friend only to find him drunk and pouring forth appalling blasphemies. Shocked, he ran from the house only to meet representatives of the federal Treasury coming the other way.
"For years you have been saying that there is no God", said these keepers of the nation's accounts. "Why then should you run from someone who insults this God that doesn't exist?"
"I still say there is no God", replied the agnostic. "But when a bloke who thinks there is one starts swearing at his maker, I know it's time to leave."
"Because he is sure to come to harm?"
"That's right. And me standing next to him!"
"Ah", said the officials, "then you do believe".
"Not likely. When death or injury is at hand these days, you can't be too careful. Why put your person at risk for the sake of argument?"
"But your actions prove you wrong."
"No. Your actions prove me right."
"Ours? How is that?", asked the most discerning of the Treasury officials.
"This man has lost his faith because he trusted in God to look after him. That's silly. He should have trusted only in himself."
"Because you can't depend on God?"
"Because we can't depend on you. Without jobs and welfare — without what we've been used to — there's no-one to look out for us. Everyone for themselves and bugger the other. If you're so hard up that God's your only hope, then you are in big trouble."
"So without God there is no hope?"
"No. Without what you can give us, there is no God."
"Ah!", said another discerning Treasury officials. "If we gave you jobs and homes, schools and a living wage, there would be a God."
"You're not going to are you?"
"No, we're not."
"Then God is dead", said the agnostic. "John Howard killed him by proving how unnecessary He was."
Dave Riley