A metaphor
Hey! Wait up, Little John! You're moving as fast as those little legs of yours will carry you.
— Can't wait. Can't stop. Seven point five (pant), you know. Seven point f-I-v-e.
Seven point what? Jesus, can't you stop for a minute?
— I know we can. (Pant) I know we can. (Pant) I know ...
"Little John" Howard just could not stop. He ran faster and faster along the beach, saying to himself over and over again: "Seven point five" and "I know we can" as he ran up and down in his new pair of red Speedos.
Honest to goodness, John. I sometimes think you take the job too seriously.
— Too seriously? No-one can (pant) take unemployment like ours lightly. (Pant) I'm fighting day in and day out for jobs.
So what you doin' here? Training for the Olympics?
— Training? (Pant) No. I'm making a point.
For the National Heart Foundation? About lifestyle, health and fitness?
— No. (Pant) Baywatch.
Yeah. Right.
— It's something of a metaphor (pant) of the difficult public attitudes we have in this country towards job creation (pant).
You don't say?
— I certainly do (pant). We can't simultaneously say that an unemployment rate of 7.5% is too high, (pant) yet behave in an unwelcoming way towards opportunities that would generate more jobs.
Like Pamela Anderson's ... you know ...
— Breasts. I face facts. I call it (pant) as I see it. What sort of confused message do we send to the rest of the world if we lose such an opportunity for international exposure?
But BOOBwatch! What sort of a metaphor is that?
— A darn good one (pant). The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Baywatch?
— No. Jobwatch (pant). It's also a metaphor for my job creation program. I look out to sea and what do I see? The future (pant). Uranium mines, toxic waste dumps ... I see Baywatch as just the beginning (pant). These days we can't look a gift horse in the mouth.
So how much of a dent will Baywatch make in 7.5% unemployment?
— That's not the point. It's a figure of speech.
A metaphor?
— Yeah. I just know we can (pant).
By Dave Riley