Sex and the Old Testament
At the September 7 rally and march in Sydney against the Reverend Fred "Festival of Light" Nile's bill to restrict abortion in New South Wales, the familiar black and white habits of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were a welcome sight.
The Sisters — an order of gay male "nuns" devoted to the removal of such evils as hypocrisy and homophobia — handed out some interesting educational material: an overview of the curriculum at the Faculty of Comparative Mythology at the Sisters' private university.
The Sisters' "Old Testament lessons for today's family life" could well be a talking point at Elaine Nile's next women's coffee morning.
Lesson one: Whatever happened to Lilith? Adam's first girlfriend opts out of heterosexual marriage and goes to live with five demon lovers. When Adam sets up The Family, with a wife and two kids, the pressure of this unnatural arrangement sends his kids berserk, and the first murder takes place right at home.
God destroys Sodom for being wealthy and inhospitable to travellers, but tricks Lot into having sex with his two daughters (Genesis 19).
Sara is married to her 85-year-old brother Abraham, who tries to sell her sexual favours to the Pharaoh. Not surprisingly, Sarah cannot have children, so she tells her maid Hagar, a daughter of the Pharaoh, to have sex with Abraham, and so Ishmael is conceived. God visits Hagar to reward her for having sex with Sarah's husband (Genesis 16).
Rachel can't have children, so her husband (and cousin) Jacob has sex with her servant Bilhah while she watches. Jacob is already married as well to Rachel's sister Leah, and also has sex with Leah's maid Zilpah. Leah's first son, Reuben, has sex with Bilhah. This team of people is rewarded for their promiscuity by parenting the 12 Patriarchs (Genesis 30).
Read of the great sexual love between David and Jonathan. David becomes the lover of King Saul, and later the lover of Jonathan. "Very pleasant you have been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women." He marries Jonathan's sister Michal with a wedding gift of 200 foreskins, goes off with Abigail, Ahinoam, Haggith and several other women, seduces Bathsheba and arranges the murder of her husband, Uriah, so he can have her. David, ancestor of Jesus, is rewarded by God for all his sexual exploits and versatility by becoming King of all Israel for 40 years (I Samuel 16, II Samuel 1).
Lesson three: Ruth, one of the ancestors of Jesus, falls in love with Naomi, an older woman. Their lesbian love pledges are so beautiful that heterosexuals copied them for their marriage ceremony (Ruth I:16).
Lesson four: See how God punishes King Asa of Judah, who dies of hideous foot diseases because he tried to deport the boy temple prostitutes and destroy the Queen Mother's giant dildo (I Kings 15:12).
Lesson five: See how God rewards and respects prostitutes. The only house not destroyed when everyone in Jericho — men, women, children and even animals — is brutally massacred is the whorehouse run by Rahab the Harlot, who is saved and revered by the people of Israel (Joshua 6:22-24).
Lively lot, weren't they? Puts a rather interesting perspective on Fred and Elaine's call for a return to Christian family values: could be rather exhausting for the ordinary person.
By Deborah McCulloch