Billionaires say 'bravo' to ALP

Issue 

On July 31, Wollongong's satirical 'Billionaires for Coal' group rallied outside the ALP national conference in Sydney to congratulate the party on a "job well done".

The billionaires asked PM Kevin Rudd to continue governing in the interests of the super-rich and offered the ALP a giant cheque to the value of "whatever it takes".

Billionaires for Coal spokesperson Baronessa Pink Fluff (aka Vanessa Organo from Resistance) told Green Left Weekly: "We are ecstatic to have the ALP in power. They are just so good at talking about workers' rights and carbon reduction, while ensuring that our profits are not hurt by either of these ridiculous notions."

The billionaires said they were particularly ecstatic about environment minister Peter Garrett's approval of the Four Mile uranium mine in South Australia, the government's investment in so-called "clean coal" and the ongoing expansion of coal mining and burning at the state and federal levels.

"Some of us were a bit concerned when the ALP took government", said the baronessa. "However, in Labor we have found an no better friend. Australia's dependence on fossil fuels — which means big bucks for us — have increased," said the Baronessa.

"We will be given the legal right to pollute and billions in government handouts. And all the while Labor maintains the fiction that they are acting on climate change. We say bravo!"