The week that was

Issue 

This was the week that True Blue Aussie with the Big Red Heart cast off the yoke of imperial insecurity, imperial inferiority, and stood up for decency and the most important thing in the world: a dollar. How proud to be a True Blue Aussie and see the world's greatest worst ex-treasurer Paul stand up to the United States of the World and tell them that they must stop attacking the little cultural practices of some of our Asian friends.

"You must remember that it is part of the culture to shoot up a funeral, and to shoot a crowd in the square. You must remember that burgeoning economies are fragile little flowers which could be destroyed by anti-national conspiracies like organised labour. Remember that silly little practices like workplace safety threaten that fragile economy. You must recognise that democratic governments would be under severe threat if they had to tolerate the existence of an opposition.

"Christ, none of those things rate compared to what really matters. Just take a look at my Minister for Going Overseas All the Time and Being a Perfectly Good Little Prefect, Grovelling Good Evans ..."

President Glinting looked around nervously. "He's not — you didn't bring ..."

"No, no, you're safe. But you have to admit he's a fine example of balance between concern over human rights, but approaching these delicate matters in a most diplomatic way. Imagine how bad things might have been in East Timor, for example, if Grovelling Good hadn't been so diplomatic."

President Glinting reassured the world's greatest ex. "Look, we have no intention of pushing them so far that they actually allow unions to exist. Not real unions anyway."

"I'm pleased to hear that Mr President. Do you mind if I put my arm around you? After all, we have to achieve world's best practice or we're stuffed. If we don't, we might end up with lots of people unemployed and declining living standards."

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