Don't mention it
"Giving can improve a company's reputation and do wonders for morale, not to mention profits." — Donna Greaves, adviser to something called Philanthropy Australia, urging corporations to give to charity.
Great expectations
"I did not expect it to be like this when I joined up." — A US marine who depends upon food stamps to feed his family. Many lower ranks in the US military earn only US$1000 a month, less taxes.
Attractive
"What we were doing was primarily making it more attractive to people who had it already." — A spokesperson for health minister Michael Wooldridge, on figures showing that the government's $1.7 billion rebate hasn't persuaded more people to take out private health insurance.
First, buy health insurance
"You have two, don't you? Many of our borrowers have only one kidney." — The collection officer for a Japanese loan agency, pressuring a debtor to sell body parts in order to repay his debt.
Better late than never
"An off-site emergency plan for Derby will certainly be looked at in our continuing review." — A spokesperson for the British Nuclear Installations Inspectorate, after the revelation that a Rolls Royce plant in Derby has been secretly manufacturing nuclear fuel.
Priorities
"We've got to get taxes down in this country." — Rupert Murdoch.
Branch closing potential
"We are not yet achieving our full potential." — Westpac managing director David Morgan, after the bank reported a 14.5% rise in net profit, to $1.46 billion.