The week that was

Issue 

By Kevin Healy

What's this? Here's the minister for communicating with Lord Kerry but not with parliament, Senator Graeme Party-hack-son, rushing into the office. Looks like he's going to do a bit of communications of his own: "I've just got to ring my wife — do you mind?" Yes, he must be going to communicate; see, he's pulled out his portable brush and he's doing his hair.

"Thank God you're home. Look, that p**** relative of yours — what's his name again? No, not that one, the one I don't know anything about. Greg, that's it, Greg. Did you know he was up to no good on some remote island?

"Yeah, well I rang the PM over there. You know, they're very simple people — I met one of them one day with that — what's his name again? That's it, Greg. I met one in my office one day when Greg popped in with him and some legal bloke. I don't know what they wanted, I didn't ask and naturally we didn't talk about it.

"Oh, I did knock up a little note telling them to help him — you know, the sort of thing you'd do for anyone, even George. What's that? Oh yes, Greg — my God, he's forgettable!

"By the way, you know those monthly family get-togethers with all your lot and your p**** relatives: did anyone ever mention that George — uh, Greg — that he went bankrupt a couple of years ago? One and a half million, apparently. I suppose it's the sort of thing you wouldn't discuss over a family barby unless it's a really big amount. Yeah, I know, there are some people who reckon one and a half million's a lot of money. It just shows what plebs there are in this world.

"Anyway, I didn't know that, did you? Did you know he was a businessman? I've never known what George — sorry, Greg — did. The only time we ever had a really meaningful conversation, he told me how much he liked my hair."

If you like our work, become a supporter

Green Left is a vital social-change project and aims to make all content available online, without paywalls. With no corporate sponsors or advertising, we rely on support and donations from readers like you.

For just $5 per month get the Green Left digital edition in your inbox each week. For $10 per month get the above and the print edition delivered to your door. You can also add a donation to your support by choosing the solidarity option of $20 per month.

Freecall now on 1800 634 206 or follow the support link below to make a secure supporter payment or donation online.