By Kevin Healy
Talking to a listener this morning, no doubt in a state of shock, feeling that just another little bit of his or her life has been extracted from him or her: never again the excitement of a party political ad on telly.
In the media excitement surrounding this major attack on freedom of very expensive speech, one factor has been missed. It won't affect those party television ads we all like — the bill bans only those ads which have a political content, so the party ads are quite safe.
And didn't it consolidate one's faith in the democratic processes and values of the market economy to see the advertising industry come out in defence of freedom of speech!. "We're not complaining because we'll lose the business", spokesperson Flip Who-Gives-A-Dams said. "We're concerned that the rights of any party of lobby group with a loose 10 or 12 million in the middle of an election campaign must be preserved."
Pressing the time warp button, after an adless election has bored the electorate mindless we hear the news as the new government settles in: "Good evening, this is the ABC contract news service. The government today expressed excitement at the rate of industrial reform, as all Australian employers adopts the new law that all workers must be under individual contract.
"The joint industrial relations ministers, Little Johnny How-Hard and Peter Cook-the-Workers, said many workers were now earning no wages but receiving major concessions such as being allowed to sleep next to their machines at minimal overnight rentals.
"The courts were continuing to pass mild penalties, such as execution, removal of genitals and fines of about 8 trillion, on unions or workers who opposed the new progressive industrial developments.
"Waterfront reform was also progressing rapidly. A spokesman for the waterside workers, Lt Col Ambrose Killem, said his troops were enjoying their new work. 'The bit they enjoyed most was slaughtering the previous workforce" Lt Col Killem said. 'It's really rewarding when you can practise what you're trained to do in life.'"
Back in March 1991, our great and beloved Prime Minister Nuclear Hawke himself indignantly attacked opposition attempts to dismantle the Accord as "ideology gone mad".
"Without the Accord, we couldn't have suppressed wages and conditions and increased profits in the national interest", Nuke pointed out.