Putting the mates back in the preamble
An alternative draft constitutional preamble by Graham Matthews
With hope in the international financial markets, the wealth of 'stralia is constituted as a plutocracy with a federal mint to serve the ruling class.
We, the 'stralian people, are committed to this constitution as the ox is committed to the yoke.
Ashamed that racism still abounds, and that it has grown worse under the Howard government;
Never forgetting that workers and students forced the government to withdraw from the unjust war in Vietnam;
Upholding freedom of trade, tolerance of extreme wealth, individual ownership and the rule of the rich;
Dispossessing Aborigines and Torres Strait Islanders, 'stralia's first arrested, and ensuring that they face imprisonment rates and deaths in custody higher than any group in this society;
Recognising that generations of immigrants from non-English-speaking backgrounds have sweated without remuneration to build 'stralia's infrastructure;
Mindful of our desire to destroy our unique national environment — particularly Kakadu;
Supportive of Kerry Packer's achievement as well as equality of opportunity for all the mates;
And valuing independent wealth as dearly as the national spirit (Bundy rum) which blinds us together on a Friday night as we try to forget this bullshit!