Life of Riley: For all of us

Issue 

Life of Riley

For all of us

John Winston Howard (MHR), Bennelong: I don't know about you lot, but I reckon the little man has been taxed enough. The little man has had enough of working for the government; he's had enough of seeing his income being got at by the likes of you and me; he's had enough and now he wants change. And we're determined to give it to him.

[Cries of: "Hear, hear!"]

It is the intention of my government to lift the heavy burden of taxation that now bears down upon us all. And they told us that tax reform was impossible! Oh no, they said, that belongs in the too-hard basket. Well, my government will achieve the impossible. This country's gonna love our tax pack.

[Much wild cheering and chanting.]

And you know why? Because we're going to reward greed. And that's not a dirty word, either. We want to make it so that every man, woman and child in this country has the inalienable right to their own greed. We're going to protect that right. We have dared to say out loud: the money's yours, you earned it!

[Interjection: "All yours!"]

The honourable member has said it: all yours. Yours to keep. Yours to have and to hold. Yours in sickness and in health. Yours to do with what you please.

Isn't this what this country is all about? Isn't this what we mean by freedom — the freedom to transact our own affairs and, at the end of the day, the freedom to spend what we earn without it being interfered with?

That's freedom, my friends — freedom in its purest form. You may call me a fuddy duddy idealist, but I believe that a man's income should always be left in its pristine state. I'm a bit of a greenie in that regard, a true conservative. That's what rewards effort; that's what rewards enterprise; that's what makes a country tick.

Income for those who earned it!

[Interjection:"Justice for all!"]

That's right. That's right. This is justice for all. We want to treat everyone equally. Why should A pay more tax than B? And why should C pay any tax at all? It's unfair. It's unjust. It's un-Australian.

So, my friends, without any further ado, I give you ... wait for it, wait for it ... I give you a G.

[Reprise by all: G!]

I give you an S.

[Reprise: S!]

I give you a T.

[Reprise: T! GST! GST! GST!]

You've obviously heard of it before. That's right, I give you all a GST. All the little people out there now possess the inalienable right to what they earn. The money's yours, enjoy it to the full. Australia: you've earned it!

[Interjection: "Let's hear it for the GST! GST is for me! GST is for me!"]

Ah, yes. We will protect the poor (although we don't know how, but we will).

By Dave Riley

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