Loose cannons

Not true, unfortunately

"Money market 'gone to hell'" — headline in Sunday Telegraph, June 26.

Forward planning

"The Royal Australian Navy is spending $70 million to buy and convert two American warships into helicopter carriers so Australian troops, if ever called on again to invade a foreign land, can fly over enemy beaches." — Sydney Morning Herald, June 27.

Lesson in government

"Men are more easily governed through their vices than their virtues." — NSW Liberal MLA Terry Griffiths in his maiden speech in 1988, quoting Napoleon. Griffiths resigned as police minister on June 27 after five of his female staff were given stress leave.

Pyongyang or Washington?

"The few reports from westerners who have visited North Korea say Kim's people are comprehensively brainwashed from the cradle into believing their country is the centre of the world and their leader the most important person in it." — Hobart Mercury, June 2.

No hope

"We don't want to develop policy purely with the objective of being different." — Liberal Senator Robert Hill, explaining that the Opposition has decided there's no point developing more right-wing policies, because the ALP government will steal them.

Advertising

"I went to Beijing last week with Anne Keating, head of United Airlines in Australia. When the Chinese heard 'sister of prime minister', doors opened everywhere." — John Singleton explaining how he won a 10-year joint venture advertising contract with Chinese government radio.

History lesson

"... one king went down to the House of Commons and cut off the head of several members. There was another king that created the whole problem of the Church of England in the first place. There was a queen, of course, who was good at chopping off the heads of other queens." — Closet republican and National Party leader Tim Fischer, supposedly defending the monarchy.

From GLW issue 150