Loose cannons

Or any other

"We all lived in this century; I didn't live in this century." — US Vice President Dan Quayle]

How much?

"I wouldn't leave this country if you paid me." — Patriotic businessman Lenny McPherson, asked to undertake not to leave the country while criminal charges against him are pending.

Should have been a stock broker

"When I order abandon ship, it doesn't matter what time I leave. Abandon is for everybody. If some people like to stay, they can stay." — Captain of the cruise liner Oceanos, criticised for leaving the sinking ship while passengers were still on board.

Slow learner

"This is the act of a hostile country." — Foreign minister Gareth Evans on US subsidised wheat sales.

Philanthropists

"Amount pledged by the [US] Tobacco Institute last year to discourage smoking by minors: $10,000,000.

"Estimated profit US tobacco companies earned last year from sales of tobacco products to minors: $250,000,000." — Harper's Magazine.

Hard life

"The days of the populist politician are gone. It is not easy or popular to have to go around with a difficult message ... to tell people they have to work harder."

• Federal opposition leader John Hewson.

Happy days

"Growth in average weekly earnings was slashed from 6.9 per cent to 3.2 per cent in the year to May, according to quarterly figures released by the Bureau of Statistics yesterday.

"The result ... was hailed as 'spectacular' by banking economists." — Financial Review, August 9.

From GLW issue 23