The Genetic Engineer

The Genetic Engineer

By Geoff Francis and Peter Hicks

There's no better career

Than a genetic engineer,

Shaping the next generation to come.

What nature still gets wrong

I can improve on,

The whole world will thank me when I'm finished and done.

How would you like, sir,

For your son to be, sir,

Six foot three tall with blond hair and blue eyes?

A Schwarzznigger physique,

And a perfect athlete,

Just leave it to me, I'll deliver this prize.

An I.Q. like Einstein,

Now wouldn't that be fine?

Trust me, I'll see we create him that way,

And while I'm about it,

Don't let yourself doubt it,

I'll make doubly sure that your son isn't gay.

What? You'd rather have a daughter?

Well I don't think you oughtta,

But if you insist than I'll do what I can.

She'll be pretty and shy,

And obedient and quiet,

And she'll make a good wife for an Aryan man.

I'll be quite honest with you,

There's some things I can't do

Like eliminate suffering and disease from this Earth.

But when I find deformity

Or any non-conformity

I'll have them put down at the moment of birth.

My plans for humanity

Are called insanity

By half-castes and weirdoes and pinkos and queers,

'Cos for them there's no place

In the new master race

That will rule o'er this planet for ten thousand years.

My glorious vision

Must come to fruition

But alas that I can't do it all by myself —

So what I need from you

For me to see this through

Is to help me get out of this white padded cell.

From GLW issue 111