Phhew!

Phhew!

"Queen: I will accept republic." — Headline in Sydney Morning Herald after King Paul's meeting with Queen Liz.

Name two, please

"I did build many, many things, and people forget to mention them." — Bankrupt entrepreneur Alan Bond, feeling unappreciated.

Coincidence

"The cost of an airline ticket climbed by 7 per cent and there were fewer discount seats available in the three months following the collapse of Compass Mark 2 in March, according to the Prices Surveillance Authority." — Sydney Morning Herald, September 20.

For his own good

"UN helicopters destroyed a small market [in Mogadishu], and a British photographer at the scene accused the peacekeepers of throwing percussion grenades at him. A UN spokesman later said the grenades were thrown to keep him out of a danger area." — Sydney Morning Herald, September 20.

With two flat tyres

"Capitalism is like a bicycle. Any child can easily ride a bicycle forward ... no one has ever ridden a bicycle backwards." — Lester C. Thurow, a US "management" guru, in a two-page advertisement by Citibank in the Financial Review.

Rolex Olympics

"I have a new-found appreciation of Princess Anne and the Muslim sheikhs [as International Olympic Committee members]. They cannot be bought by a Rolex watch." — Federal sports minister Ros Kelly.

Where are the others?

"This [Sydney getting the Olympics] is a decision about Australia as a nation. I think it is a defining decision. It allows us to show we are not some derived place but we're a country on the brink of the next millennium." — Paul Keating, trying to sound profound in the absence of a speech writer.

From GLW issue 117