Loose cannons

Wednesday, August 26, 1992 - 10:00

Hamburger heaven

"I don't think that snobbery is part of the Christian ethic and if you mean that McDonald's caters for ordinary people, I suspect those people are amongst those who our ministry and cathedral must try to reach." — Christopher Owen, chapter clerk of Salisbury Cathedral, explaining a reciprocal sponsorship deal between the cathedral and the local McDonald's. The plastic 'burger chain will supply scrolls, which the church will distribute in return for a $3.50 donation; the scrolls will then be good for a freebie at McDonald's.

You are what you buy

"Australia is a consumer culture. When we change what we buy and how we spend, we change who we are." — Philosophy from Reg Bryson, head of Campaign Palace advertising agency.

How would he know?

"Bush has to let us touch him, show us that he feels what we feel." — Michael Deaver, former image manager for Ronald Reagan.

Just a regular guy

"The idea was that he'd ride the wave from the war for the 21 months before the election." — A puzzled George Bush aide wondering what went wrong.

What depression?

"You see, we believe that the private sector is the essential mechanism by which jobs are created in this country. Real jobs and real wealth is created in the private sector." — Liberal leader John Hewson in his response to the federal budget, begging a lot of questions about the past 10 years.

The position position

"I don't think somebody in the Duchess's position is in a position to do the kind of things she's doing with Mr Bryan." — Quality journalism on the subject of Sarah Ferguson from Richard Stott, editor of the British Mirror.

Windy argument

"If it didn't get it correct from the start, it would have blown its backside off. A Christian like myself would say, 'Surely this is evidence for a design of a beetle to be fully functional from the start'." — "Creation scientist" Dr Andrew Snelling explaining how the bombardier beetle destroys the theory of evolution. The beetle's defence mechanism is to create a small explosion by combining juices in its innards.