Life of Riley: Love them bombs!

Love them bombs!

War's a terrible thing, terrible.

— 'tis.

It's no way to conduct business.

— No way.

I mean, look at this thing what's happenin' at the moment.

— Terrible it is.

You turn on the telly and they tell ya the bombs are raining down on ... on ...

— Serbia.

Yeah, Serbia and ... and ...

— Kosovo.

And Kosovo (wherever that is). And the bombs are going plop plop, doin' what they do, when next you know there's all these folk headin' for the exit.

— Refugees.

Yeah, refugees. Well, who's to say one didn't cause the other? That's what it looks like. A bomb falls and someone leaves town. It's cause and effect.

— Ethnic cleansing.

It's what?

— Ethnic cleansing. It's what they do to get rid of whole groups of people.

You mean to tell me that that's why they went and bombed the place?

— Apparently not.

Apparently not, what?

— They bombed with the best of intentions, honourable intentions. They were helping out. Albeit with some collateral damage.

So these were "good" bombs were they, as distinct from some other type?

— As honest and true as they could make 'em.

To think that such marvels are forged by the hand of humankind!

— True friends of the freedom-loving peoples all over the world.

Love them bombs! Where can I get me some?

— You'll have to book ahead.

By Dave Riley

From GLW issue 355