Life of Riley: The Suharto Protection Society

The Suharto Protection Society

Some kinds of associations seem more prone than others to trouble. Fortunately, the Society for the Protection of the Suharto is not one of them.

A Voice: Society for the Protection of what?

Myself: The Suharto.

A small feathered bird with yellow and green plumage that has a call not dissimilar to a canary?

No.

A traditional dance performed during rituals of the full moon by the tribes of the upper Zambesi?

No. Suharto is the name of the president of Indonesia — an archipelago of some 17,000 islands which straddles the equator in south-east Asia. That's the Suharto I was referring to.

Now I've got you.

To remain as president of this nation of 220 million people, members of the Suharto Protection Society have closed ranks in order to insure his survival.

Endangered is he?

Yes, I suppose he is.

Is he listed with the World Wildlife Fund?

No, he's not.

Oh, he should be. Would improve his chances no end.

Yes, I'm sure it would.

What about the habitat, is it up for world heritage?

It's being attended to.

By whom?

The IMF.

IMF? Don't know them.

It's a special fund to protect endangered humans.

You don't say? So how much are they swinging his way?

$64 billion.

I could save the world with that amount of money. How many Suhartos are there?

Just the one.

Just one! He really must be endangered.

Yes, but the Suharto Protection Society is very active on his behalf.

They must be keen?

Oh, they are. Keen conservatives, the lot of them. Preserving habitat and heritage always comes first for the Suharto Protection Society.

Dave Riley

From GLW issue 310