The GST

The GST

A song by Peter Hicks and Geoff Francis

Little Johnny has a brand new fiscal plan,
To bring prosperity to this land,
It's dressed up like the Christmas turkey,
Juicy, plump and fat.
But when you strip away the skin,
Underneath you'll find an ugly thing.
The rotting, stinking carcass of
His Goods and Service Tax.

You'll pay tax on everything you need,
Everything, except the air you breathe,
You'll pay tax on milk and baby food,
Tax on fruit and vegies too,
Tax on rice and tax on bread,
So you'd better start living on grass instead.
Or if you can't afford little Johnny's tax,
You can give up eating and that's a fact.
Yes, if you can't afford little Johnny's tax,
You can give up eating and that's a fact.

If you take a shower, well it ain't no joke,
You'll be taxed on the hot water and soap,
You'll be taxed whenever you pick up the phone,
And taxed every time you leave your home,
'Cos it's ten percent on bus and train fares.
On the clothes on your back and on cutting your hair.
Then if the GST is the death of you,
You'll even be taxed on your funeral too.
Yes, if the GST is the death of you,
You'll even be taxed on your funeral too.

Now if this gives you the John Howard blues,
You should not think that it's all bad news,
If you're paid two hundred grand a year,
You'll be much better off 'cos he's made it clear
You'll pay less for your BMW,
For your luxury yacht and your diamonds too.
So if you're in the market for a BMer or three,
You'll have much to gain from the GST.
Yes, if you're in the market for a BMer or three, You'll have much to gain from the GST.

On the other hand, if you're poor and old,
Then you'd better start learning to love the cold,
'Cos there'll be 10 per cent on your wood and gas,
And a 10 per cent electricity tax.
You'll be taxed on the blankets on your bed,
So if you don't want to freeze to death,
Tell little Johnny comprehensively
Just what he can do with his GST.
Yes, tell little Johnny comprehensively
Just what he can do with his GST.

From GLW issue 333