Loose cannons

Ask politely, like a good government

"What I would like to see now is the tobacco companies operating in Australia openly and honestly state what is in their product ... We don't know what's in Australian cigarettes." — Federal health minister Michael Wooldridge.

New, meaning old

"It will provide new hope and confidence for the Hunter region." — Prime Menzies John Howard, pretending to respond to BHP's closure of its Newcastle steelworks by re-announcing the British Aerospace investment in Newcastle, first announced last November.

I give up

"This is a sell-out. What do we stand for?" — ALP Senator Rosemary Crowley to the Labor caucus after the shadow cabinet decided not to vote against the government's work-for-the-dole legislation.

Sounds right

"I've been a veteran for some 35 years of ALP conferences. Except for the few years I spent with the left, I've never been on a losing side." — NSW treasurer and would-be electricity privatiser Michael Egan.

Writing on the walls

"Q: What's the anagram of Tony Blair MP? A: I'm Tory plan B." — Graffiti on London streets following election of the Blair Labour government.

For all of us

"One of the highlights of my prime ministership." — Prime Menzies John Howard, on opening a cricket exhibition in London.

Interpretation

"I have not breached the [ministerial] guidelines, and I have not misled the parliament. There is certainly no conflict of interest." — Minister for small business Geoff Prosser, after breaching ministerial guidelines and misleading parliament over a conflict of interest.

From GLW issue 280