Loose cannons

Not a second time anyway

"I will not do anything that will damage the Labor government." — Brian Burke, resigning as ambassador to Ireland.

Should have invested in stamps

"I would like to re-establish myself economically ... being in government is not as good as it's cracked up to be." — NSW attorney-general John Dowd, explaining his decision to leave parliament for private law practice.

No argument

"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure." — US Vice President Dan Quayle.

Like fighting for wage cuts

ACTU assistant secretary Laurie Carmichael has been awarded an honorary doctorate by the University of Canberra for his role in "developing innovative union policies".

Informed opinion

"If you're going to wait for politicians to solve your problems, you'll die waiting." — Victorian Liberal Party leader Jeff Kennett at a rally in Geelong, May 2.

Cruelty to microbes

"The last Trabant came off an assembly line in eastern Germany. The Trabant is a notorious source of pollution even when scrapped. It cannot be burned or buried for fear of releasing dangerous toxins into the environment. Scientists are trying to devise a microbe to eat it." — Melbourne Age, May 2.

In the head?

"I am sentimental, I suppose ... My main weakness, I suppose, essentially — I'm too forgiving and too soft." — Paul Keating.

Another Custer down

"It is sad to see this Congress yield to a small pressure group in the Indian community and a few staffers within the National Park Service. Five members of the Custer family died in the battle, so we earned the name Custer battlefield right there." — A great grand-nephew of General George Custer, protesting against a decision to rename the Custer National Battlefield Park the Little Bighorn Park and erect a monument to Indian warriors alongside the one for cavalry soldiers killed in the battle often known as "Custer's Last Stand".

From GLW issue 11