Loose cannons

Slur against Ratsak

"Paul's about as popular as rat poison." — Unnamed ALP MP, quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald on why there's little enthusiasm for a Keating challenge to Hawke.

Advancing to the rear

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change." — US Vice President Dan Quayle.

Numeracy

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." — Dan Quayle.

By discouraging assassins

"I don't like to see anyone unfairly criticised ... he's doing a great job." — US President George Bush on Dan Quayle.

Stroke of luck

"As APC has taxable losses for the year ended 31 December 1990, APC transferred part of its losses to Compol to offset Compol's taxable income. Accordingly, neither APC nor Compol will be paying any income taxes for the year ended 31 December 1990." — Exxon Chemical Australasian Affiliates Financial Services Department Highlights 1991.

Theology lesson — I

"Ten steel bosses died in a plane crash. They all went to hell because of all the misery they had caused by their decisions.

"After their first day in hell, the Devil called God and asked if he would mind taking the steel bosses to Heaven.

"When God asked why, the Devil replied: 'Because since these steel bosses arrived they have shut down 10 of my furnaces and sacked half of my workers'." — a visiting German academic, quoted in the Illawarra Mercury.

Theology lesson — II

"There is a danger that Marxism will be replaced by another form of atheism, which, by worshipping freedom, tends to destroy the roots of human and Christian morality." — Pope John Paul Mark II, warning Portugal against wicked ideas.

From GLW issue 13