Loose cannons

Like boosting profits

"It was a national Labor government which forged national competition policy and they did it for good and valid Labor reasons." — NSW treasurer Michael Egan, defending his policies against critics at the state ALP's annual rural conference.

It was the patient's fault

"A report into the death of a South Coast man with a brain hemorrhage who was refused admission by several Sydney hospitals ... has found no shortcomings in his treatment or the level of intensive care available in Sydney hospitals, the State Government claimed yesterday." — Sydney Morning Herald, July 31.

Helpful

"We thought we would offer to become involved and help in any way we could." — Advertising agency Claude Neon's marketing manager on the company's proposal to the South Sydney Council to cut down five plane trees said to obscure the view of its giant Coca-Cola billboard at the top of William Street.

The modern south

Oral sex carries a possible life prison sentence in the US state of Georgia. Necrophilia carries a two-and-a-half year sentence, and bestiality three months.

In case you were wondering

"In a recent speech in Adelaide [ALP national president Barry] Jones confirmed that the party's post-[federal] election research had identified a massive mood of disenchantment against the ALP." — Sydney Morning Herald, August3.

From GLW issue 241