Nostradamus' Media Watch

Based on highly reliable international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe. Young Liberal's march Inspired by the success and the unprecedented world media coverage of Louis Farrakhan's Million Man March, the Young Liberals decide to hold their own. Having to scale down numbers based on only few replies to their nation-wide call to action, they launch the Dozen Dweeb Dance at the Double Bay RSL club. The media and riot police in attendance say that only 11 people attend, but Young Liberal organisers accuse them of maliciously under-estimating numbers. Chirac blames French terrorists In an effort to soften growing world outrage at the current series of nuclear tests in the Pacific, French president Jacques Chirac says that France is not behind the blasts at all — but that it is the work of Algerian terrorists! Speaking before a session of the European Parliament, especially convened to denounce French testing and complain about the judges of the Eurovision Song Contest, Chirac makes a passionate 15 minute address saying that not only were the Algerian terrorists successfully duping all the nations of the world into thinking that the French government was behind the tests, but if the nations of Europe would support him, he would resume French nuclear testing in Algeria. The European Parliament, in a rare display of action, ban Chirac for life from ever becoming a Eurovision Song Contest judge. Former world leaders come clean on corruption After former South Korean President, Rou Tae-Woo publicly apologises for stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from the country's treasury, other former world leaders inexplicably follow his lead. Former statespeople, including Imelda Marcos, Manuel Noriega, Idi Amin, Baby Doc Duvalier and dozens of Nigerian military leaders, all call press conferences to announce that they too stole money from their countries' treasuries. However no media come to their respective press conferences, offering the reason: "That's not news!".

From GLW issue 210