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REGULAR FEATURE
Life of Riley: When it pleases me


10 February 1999

Life of Riley

When it pleases me

Chair!

Chair!

Get a chair!

Yes, Sir.

What's happening?

I'll just check.

Well?

There are no chairs.

“Sir!” How dare you address me without calling me “Sir”?

Yes, Sir! There are no chairs, Sir!

No chairs! This is monstrous! Have someone crouch so that I can sit on them!

Sit on them, Sir?

Why yes.

Like this, Sir?

Ah, yes. (Sits) That's much better. Now, what's this business about?

Business, Sir?

Don't act dumb with me.

Oh no, Sir!

Good then. When I ask questions I want straight answers. What are we here for?

To grant East Timor independence.

What did I tell you?

Sorry, Sir. To grant independence to East Timor, Sir!

Who told you that?

Why, you did, Sir.

Oh, did I? And when was this “independence” to be granted?

At your pleasure, Sir!

And if it doesn't please me?

Sir?

If it does not please me, what then?

Then, I suppose ...

Come on. Out with it!

It won't happen, Sir!

Exactly! It won't happen. But today it pleases me.

Yes, Sir!

Unless, of course, I was to change my mind. (Rises).

Yes, Sir.

Then it wouldn't.

Dave Riley



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