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Nostradamus' Media Watch13 September 1995
Based on highly reliable international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
Disney admits subliminal sex messages Under increasing criticism from US religious fundamentalist groups, the Disney Corporation finally comes clean and admits that it has been placing subliminal sex messages in its cartoons for decades, which is why they have remained so popular. An animated spokesperson for Disney, distributed on video with an McDonald's Big Sac and Fries order over $5, admits that Disney discovered in the $7b that if it did not place subliminal sex in its cartoons, neither children nor adults would watch them. According to the spokesperson, a little furry insect with big cute eyes, Peter Pan contains full frontal nude scenes of Tinkerbell, Snow White really is feeling Happy in the dwarfs' cottage, and the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio makes more than his nose grow longer. French change tack on nuclear testing The French government, under increasing pressure at home and abroad, says that it is willing to discuss cutting back its nuclear testing program in the Pacific. President Jacques Chirac, speaking in the European Parliament, denying that the nuclear tests have anything to do with the smallness of his penis, says he is not an unreasonable man and is willing to reschedule the test to earlier times in the day. When he is booed down, he calls on French commandos, who abseil down from the public gallery and beat the heckling parliamentarians. Gareth Evans nominated for peace prize Gareth Evans makes the headlines yet again when he is nominated for an international peace prize. The prize, sponsored by the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs is for the Australian politician with first initial G who has met the most foreign dignitaries espousing world peace, while racking up enough frequent flier points to get a dishwasher and a drier. When Gordon Bilney wins the award, Evans dismisses it as "a cheap political stunt with little credibility". The UN then creates an international peace prize for cheap political stunts with little credibility, for which Evans is immediately nominated several times. |
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