By Craig Cormick
Based on highly reliably international contacts, leaked documents and horoscopes from several TV magazines, Nostradamus' Media Watch presents a highly accurate forecast of political events across the globe.
Downer offered role with US Democrats
Alexander Downer is offered a position as senior policy adviser to US President Bill Clinton. Rumour has it that the offer actually comes from the highest office in the USA itself -- the personal phone of Hilary Clinton.
While some senior Democrats are angry about the appointment, White House spokesperson Max Headroom publicly defends Downer's appointment.
He says that the Clintons had carefully followed Downers's plummeting ratings and his seeming inability to form a coherent policy statement without having to back-track over it. “Apart from his lack of experience in sex scandals -- just look at him -- he's a Clinton Democrat all over!”, Headroom says.
Indonesia apologises for invading Timor
Under increasing international pressure to end human rights abuses in East Timor, including condemnation from the UN Security Council, the Dalai Lama and Michael Jackson, a senior Indonesian general apologises for invading East Timor.
He says, “There is a lot of criticism of our invading East Timor, but actually we did not invade. We were invited. We were. And I have the invitation still on my desk somewhere at home. It's just that I couldn't find it this morning.”
However, President Suharto rescinds the apology. He says that the general, recently retired to the warring province of Ache, had been mistaken in his comments. He had been thinking of a wild New Year's Eve party held at an Australian diplomat neighbour's house, but had inadvertently said East Timor.
UN quits Bosnia
The United Nations finally admits defeat in the worsening war in Bosnia and declares that it is handing over peacekeeping activities to a private company.
The company, a consortium of arms-exporting firms, is placed under a three-year contract managed by the European Union.
This leads to a major decline of hostilities due to a shortage of arms, because the contract is based on the European Union's policies on agriculture: higher subsidies for not producing or selling.
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