By Kevin Healy
There was much understandable excitement down at the dole office this week when it was announced officially that True Blue Aussie with the Big Red heart was officially out of its official recession. “Isn't that the best news we've had for years!”, the bloke in the front of the queue beamed.
“Oh, it's such a relief. It means we can stop worrying”, the woman behind him chimed in.
“Yes”, the woman behind her said. “It says here that unemployment will probably get higher before the year's out, but that the economy is recovering and it will get even better if only workers have the common sense to tighten their belts a bit. You don't mind being unemployed and queuing up here and watching the kids starve if you know you're contributing to the national recovery, do you!”
“No”, the woman in front of her said. “When I said we can stop worrying, I hope you didn't think I was being selfish and hoping to get a job. Crikey, no. I was just so relieved that those important people like Lord Kerry of Waterhouse and Sir Peter Abeles-to-get-the-government's-ear and You Morgue-them and John Sellingit-Smellingit can now relax and know all their sacrifice is bearing fruit. Because if they become even richer, we know we'll all be better off.”
“Yes”, the man at the top of the queue said. “Those people know real suffering in a recession, don't they.”
“My word”, said the woman third in the queue. “They cut off my power yesterday, and I can't cook for the kids -- well, I couldn't cook if I had any food for them. But we don't know what it's like to suffer, compared to Lord Kerry and Sir Peter and You and John, who suffer for all of us. The tragedy is that, if the government did what these men wanted in the first place, we'd never have any recessions, because they have all the answers.”
“Such admirable men”, the other woman said. “It's because they're not blinkered by sectoral interests -- they have the interests of all of us at heart.”
